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Why Ontological Coaching? The ‘Be, Do, Have’ Analogy

Ontological coaching is rapidly gaining recognition as one of the most transformative approaches to leadership, performance and personal development. Rooted in the study of “Being,” it focuses on understanding how who we are being, including our thoughts, emotions, and language, shape who we are, our subsequent behaviours, and how we operate in the world. One key concept often used in explaining ontological coaching is the powerful “Be, Do, Have” model, which challenges many traditional coaching approaches to performance, success and fulfillment.

In this article, we’ll explore why ontological coaching is so powerful, using the “Be, Do, Have” analogy to illustrate how this approach can unlock deep, lasting change in individuals and organizations.

1. The Traditional Approach: ‘Have, Do, Be’

Before diving into the power of ontological coaching, it’s essential to understand how most people approach success. Many follow a “Have, Do, Be” mindset. They believe that once they have certain things—such as money, resources, or recognition—they can do what they want, and finally, they will be successful or fulfilled. This mindset has been encouraged by consumerism and advertising promising ‘fulfillment’ and ‘happiness’ when we buy certain things.

For example, a common belief might be: “Once I have more time, I can do better work, and then I will be a more successful leader.” This approach focuses on external circumstances driving internal changes, but it often leads to frustration and resentment because external factors are largely outside of our control. Ontological coaching turns this mindset on its head with the “Be, Do, Have” model and focuses on being as the precursor to behavior.

2. The ‘Be, Do, Have’ Model Explained

In ontological coaching, the “Be, Do, Have” model shifts the focus from external circumstances to internal transformation. According to this approach, who you be (your way of being) directly influences what you do (your actions), which in turn determines what you have (your outcomes).

• Be: Being is your core essence—your mindset, emotions, beliefs, and attitudes. It encompasses how you perceive yourself and the world around you.
• Do: These are your decisions, actions and behaviors. What you do is a direct reflection of who you are being at any given moment.
• Have: These are the outcomes and results you achieve, which naturally flow from what you do.

Instead of waiting for our external factors to change, ontological coaching encourages individuals to focus on transforming their way of being. When you shift how you show up in the world, you begin to act and behave differently, and as a result, you achieve the outcomes you desire.

3. Why Ontological Coaching is Powerful

Ontological coaching is transformative because it addresses the root cause of behavior and results: the individual’s way of being. Here’s how it works, using the “Be, Do, Have” model to illustrate its power:

a. Focus on Being to Create Sustainable Change

Most traditional coaching methods focus on changing behavior, doing—providing tools and strategies to help individuals take specific actions. While this can lead to short-term improvements, it often fails to create lasting change. Ontological coaching, by contrast, focuses on being. It encourages individuals to explore their underlying beliefs, emotions, and thought patterns that drive their actions.

By working on being first, ontological coaching enables deep, sustainable change. When individuals shift how they think, feel, and perceive themselves, their actions naturally align with their new way of being, leading to long-term success. Instead of forcing new behaviors, ontological coaching supports individuals to embody new ways of showing up in the world, resulting in more authentic and impactful outcomes.

b. Unleashing Authentic Leadership

Leadership isn’t just about what you do; it’s fundamentally about who you are being. Ontological coaching supports leaders to tap into their authentic selves, unlocking their full potential by exploring how they show up in different situations. By focusing on their way of being, leaders can cultivate greater awareness, intuition, and presence.

A leader who constantly experiences stress and self-doubt may struggle to inspire their team. Through ontological coaching, they can explore the underlying fears and beliefs driving their behavior and shift toward a confident and responsible way of being. As they transform their inner world and how they perceive themselves, their leadership style inevitably changes, resulting in more effective communication, powerful decision-making, and team engagement.

c. Creating Empowered Actions

In the “Be, Do, Have” model, appropriate actions naturally flow from your way of being. When individuals focus on shifting their ways of being, their actions become more aligned with their goals. Instead of acting from a place of fear, frustration, or limitation, they begin to take empowered actions based on clarity, confidence, and purpose.

For example, someone who is being proactive, confident, and resourceful will approach challenges differently than someone who is being doubtful, reactive and defensive. By shifting who they are being, they can now make decisions and take actions that lead to better results.

d. Achieving Meaningful Results

Ontological coaching leads to results that are not only measurable but also deeply meaningful. When you focus on your way of being, the outcomes you achieve feel more aligned with your values and purpose. You no longer chase external success just for the sake of having it; instead, you create outcomes that are fulfilling on a much deeper level.

This is where the power of “Be, Do, Have” truly comes into play. When you embody a new way of being, the results you achieve are not only more significant, but they also come with a sense of ease and flow, rather than struggle or resistance.

4. Applying the ‘Be, Do, Have’ Model in Everyday Life

The beauty of the “Be, Do, Have” model is that it can be applied to virtually any area of life—leadership, relationships, career, or personal growth. Here are a few examples of how it works in practice:

• Leadership: A leader who becomes more self-aware, compassionate, and grounded will naturally do things differently, such as making more thoughtful decisions and communicating more effectively, which will lead to improved team performance and higher engagement.
• Career Growth: An individual who becomes confident, resourceful, and resilient will do things like pursuing relevant opportunities, take appropriate risks, and embrace challenges, which will result in career advancement and success.
• Personal Relationships: Someone who is being more empathetic and open will do things like listen more attentively and engage in meaningful conversations, leading to stronger, more fulfilling relationships.

Conclusion

Ontological coaching is powerful and transformative because it goes beyond surface-level actions and targets the root of all behavior: the individual’s way of being. The “Be, Do, Have” model highlights the importance of focusing on who you are as the foundation for achieving the outcomes you desire. By shifting your way of being, you will naturally begin to take different actions, leading to greater success, fulfillment, and purpose.

Through ontological coaching, individuals and leaders can unlock their true potential, not by focusing on external circumstances, but by transforming themselves from the inside out. If you’re ready to experience profound personal and professional growth, ontological coaching may be the key to your success.

By understanding and applying the “Be, Do, Have” model, you can move beyond limitations, unlock authentic leadership, and achieve lasting results. Ontological coaching empowers you to align your actions with who you truly are, creating a path toward meaningful and sustainable success.

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